September 17, 2006 6:30 PM

Before I write my next sentence, I have to first say that I’m alright, and there’s no need to worry about me. Today I was in a car accident, and considering the way people drive in this country, I count myself lucky that it was minor and no one was hurt. Had the accident been the entire story I would have kept it to myself, as I know Jon is worried enough about me, and I would have preferred to conveniently forget to tell him about this little mishap. However, the adventure was too crazy not to recount, so it’s yours for the enjoyment.

But let me back up a bit. I spent this weekend in Quito with another volunteer, Shadi, who came in earlier in the week. She’s super cool and we hit it off right away, so when I heard she was heading into Quito I decided to tag along. We spent Saturday walking through historic Old Quito and then took the Teleferiqo – a cable car that ascends to 4100 meters and offers an amazing view of the city. It was really an enjoyable day, although I didn’t accomplish my goal of picking up some new books. I’ve been tearing through the ones I have and I’m almost out of pages. Anyway, last night we had dinner at a Thai restaurant (the first flavored food I’ve eaten in six weeks, no joke) and headed back to our hostel pretty early – although we stayed up super late joking and giggling for hours.

This morning started off innocent enough. Shadi and I joined Chrissie and our three new volunteers who’d arrived the night before for breakfast and then headed out for the typically uneventful trip to Otavalo. We stopped at the Mitad del Mundo museum for the customary cheezy equator pictures (I stayed in the car). Our problems began as we worked our way out of Quito. We all noticed that we seemed to be going in circles. Finally we learned that due to a blockade by local buses of the main route out of Quito, we would have to take secondary roads to Otavalo, extending our trip by an hour or so. No big deal – this is South America after all, and no one really raises an eyebrow to a road blockade (paro) here.

In case you’re curious, this particular paro occurred because the one bus company that runs the route north from Quito faced competition from another bus company that decided to make the run as well. Apparently this wasn’t acceptable to the first company, so many of its buses were sent to park in the middle of the Pan Americano highway in order to prevent all traffic from flowing. I think the other company followed suit. At some point much later the whole thing disbanded, I have no idea what resolution, if any, was achieved.

Ok, so we seemingly started to make progress – that is until our van ran into the back of the pickup truck behind which we too closely followed. And then of course the car behind, which was also driving too close, careened into us. The whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion, and strangely enough, didn’t elicit any sounds from the eight passengers in the van. We all looked around at each other, realizing what had happened, while at the same time checking for injuries. We were all fine, as was everyone else involved.

The police were on the scene within a minute or so – and not just one or two, but 10 or so. Even with my limited Spanish I could tell that each person was trying to convince the police that the accident was the fault of someone else. Meanwhile we waited outside as things got sorted. Well, after 30 minutes and an attempt at driving the badly damaged car, it became clear that we would have to catch a bus back to Otavalo.

A tiny aside about transportation in Ecuador… 1) Buses can be flagged down at any point on the route, and passengers may also be dropped off wherever. 2) Buses very rarely actually stop to pick up or drop off said passengers, they slow somewhat and expect a well-aimed leap on or off. (Thankfully, we had the police on our side and a bus stopped to allow the six of us to join a bus making its way from Quito to Túlcan). 3) Each bus has a driver and an assistant who’s in charge of helping passengers make the well-aimed leap, collecting their money, and changing either the CD or DVD playing in the bus. 4) There isn’t a schedule per se, but a mad dash attempt to arrive at the final destination as quickly as possible, which involves passing every possible vehicle, regardless of the terrain (blind curves) or oncoming traffic (the occasional semi).

We piled onto the bus only to find out that there weren’t enough seats for all of us. No biggie, thought I, as I’m used to crowded public transportation. However, the aforementioned assistant indicated that there are two seats up front with the driver. Cool, no standing. Shadi and I made our way to the very front of the bus, and I clearly saw one seat next to the driver, which I offered to Shadi, figuring I could stand next to her. No, no, indicated the driver, I was to sit between Shadi and him. This was a bit confusing, I must say, as all I saw was a small cushion directly behind the gear shift. Ok, I’ll sit there and find some contorted way of keeping my legs out of the driver’s way. Again, the driver indicated I’d gotten it all wrong, I was meant to STRADDLE the gearshift, and he was meant to operate it between my legs.

It is impossible to describe how incredibly funny this set up was. José, the driver, had his hand closer to my nether regions than any other man since I met Jon. And let me tell you, second gear got pretty personal. However, José was the perfect gentleman, never once taking advantage of the situation, and he too saw the humor in having two Gringas up front with him, in one of whose crotch he had his hand. And I was stuck in this position for 2 hours! But I chatted with José and the assistant, was spared the ­­­ viewing of Rats 2 which the other passengers had to endure, and had the hair-raising vantage point to watch how bus drivers here pass at any cost. At one point I mentioned to José that one accident a day is my limit, hoping he would tone down his driving (he didn’t).

I think that was the most authentic Ecuadorian experience I’ve had so far, inasmuch as that would never happen back home. And the craziness of the set up almost made the accident worth it. This is by far my favorite story so far, so if I had to go through a minor fender bender to get it, I’m cool with that. And aside from being a little bit sore as a result of the accident, I’m fine, and so is everyone else.